I’ve noticed we are confusing cancel culture with accountability. I’m speaking particularly to fellow white women…

Read, respect, and pay educators like Ericka Hart and Wagatwe Wanjuki who are leading conversations and actively writing about this. I’m grateful to them and credit them for my understanding about this topic.

I’m back in my body.

If I was who I was before I would’ve shown up at his house tears streaming down my face.

I’m not a relationship expert or therapist, so take everything I’m about to say with a grain of salt. But what I’ve learned about relationships is that they’re more complicated than I have ever given them credit for. …

Election season is here in the so-called United States. Maybe you’re feeling depressed, anxious, numb, irritable. Maybe you’re feeling fine. I encourage you to feel all of your feelings. Whatever you’re feeling is completely valid.

We know that this is nothing new, but on top of police brutality being at an all-time high, white supremacy bringing us a global pandemic, massive, sweeping, untamed wildfires leaving thousands of lives lost and upended, November is the culmination of an intensity that’s been building.

Once again, my fellow white women are leading in votes for Trump next only to white men. EbonyJanice Moore…

*You can also listen to this essay here*

Have you heard this before? “What’s possible for me, is possible for you.” Or I’ve also heard, “What’s possible for them, is possible for you.”

I hear this a lot in the coaching industry and not only is it just not true, it’s harmful and could lead people to feeling shame or blaming themselves for their circumstances or results. …

A lot of fellow white women are more upset and shedding more tears over Ruth Bader Ginsburg than Breonna Taylor. But Ginsburg’s actions in office are a part of the reason why Breonna Taylor was murdered.

I’m hearing white women say, “RBG faced so much oppression and hardship in order to be appointed.”

“She made mistakes.”

“The Conservatives hated her. They didn’t embrace her until the 90s.”

The point is that she was embraced. She did live a long life despite any hardships or misogyny she faced. Her whiteness granted her access to acceptance, power, and resources. Black women aren’t…

TW: sexual violence, genocide, police brutality

Who did Ginsburg advocate for? As a cishet, white woman I benefit from any inkling of WoMeN’s RiGhTs she might’ve fought for, but I’m not delusional.

Ginsburg failed to advocate for ALL women. She failed to advocate for Indigenous and Black women. And we already know that none of us are free, until we are ALL free.

We can’t talk about Ruth Bader Ginsburg and fail to address missing and murdered Indigenous women. #mmiw Ruth Bader Ginsburg co-signed the construction of a 600 mile pipeline for natural gas under the Appalachian trail. …

Photo by Jess Bailey on Unsplash

Let’s break it down…

  1. Individualism is toxic. You’re ready to admit that you’re stuck, and need guidance from someone who’s been there, done that.

It’s easy to fall prey to the “pull yourself up by your bootstraps,” individualist mentality of this capitalist society we live in, but the truth is…you’ve never done this before. You can’t expect yourself to have it all figured out.

2. You’re burnt-out.

Having a coach is like a mentor and cheerleader rolled into one. Sorting out the complexities of your business and brand can be exhausting and draining. Entrepreneurship is isolating, especially when your friends…

Good morning, community (well, it’s morning for me anyways)…

I woke up this morning feeling excited to get going on my planning and marketing my webinar next week that I named, “How to Stop Ghosting Yourself: From No-Show to Bold-Show.”

But then I sat with myself because there was this underlying feeling of pause and off-kilter-ness that I had been experiencing. It was so subtle. But I sat with it. It took me a second. I sat down. I googled “AAVE ghosting,” and I found out why I was feeling “off.”

The verb “to ghost” comes from African American Vernacular…

Image from this trash essay

As a white woman who, because of my white skin, will be received as softer and more likeable compared to Black women and femmes, I know it is my responsibility to validate, honor, and uplift Black women and femmes when they speak their truth and tell their stories.

This is why when Lana Del Rey posted her shit-show of a diary entry on Instagram it reeked of a pouty entitlement wrapped up in a sinister system that empowered Carolyn Donham Bryant to conjure a narrative so evil that it led to the horrific murder of a 14-year-old boy, Emmett Till.

Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash

When I first started becoming aware of my attachment to whiteness I was furious, sad, confused, lost, stressed, sleepless, panicked, terrified, disgusted, my skin broke out in the most horrible acne break out of all time, I unknowingly went into a depression (didn’t realize this until my newly appointed therapist told me to fill out a questionnaire), and it makes sense because confronting our internalized white supremacy means recognizing how much we have been living a life of lies. And I was wondering why hadn’t my schools or parents prepared me for this?

Maybe you’re feeling resentment. I was. And…

Erin Monahan

Mindset Coach. Speaker. Founder of Terra Incognita Media. Guide at Feminist Killjoy Business School. Libra sun, Scorpio Moon, Virgo Rising.

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