Unintentionally, I was Still Raised to be Racist: Constructed Fear, White Fragility, and How I Keep Engaging

Photo by Filip Zrnzević of Les Sybelles, Saint-Sorlin-d’Arves, France

Last night on the phone with a friend I was discussing my process of detaching from whiteness (because it’s different for everyone). I was talking about how my mom was a huge influence in me becoming dedicated to working towards social justice, but unintentionally, I was still raised to be racist.

In my family we didn’t have conversations about race at the dinner table. We didn’t talk about what it meant to be white in this world. Conversations about my roots extended to my Nana (mom’s mom), but not much further back. We didn’t talk about how structural inequity made it possible for us to acquire the intergenerational wealth we have as an upper middle class white family living in the midwest suburbs.

Robin DiAngelo recently wrote an essay titled, “White People Are Still Raised to Be Racially Illiterate. If We Don’t Recognize the System, Our Inaction Will Uphold It.” I would edit the title to read: “White People Are Still Raised to be Racist.” But that would be really triggering for us white people. “Racially illiterate” sounds nicer than “racist.” We really don’t like being called “racist.”