I Took the Scenic Route: Entrepreneurship, Failure to Launch, Depression, and Sustaining Your Energy Through it All
In the beginning of starting Terra some would call it a “passion project,” but I resented this because I was serious about the idea. It was going to come to life and it was going to last! It was difficult to describe to people what I was brewing in my mind because it’s hard to understand something that you can’t see. All projects, organizations, and companies start with an amorphous shape. Any original idea or entrepreneurial endeavor is really hard to explain to people, which can sometimes only feed your imposter syndrome.
But in the first year of bringing Terra to life, I was on a high and I was completely convinced that this thing was going to happen. Nobody’s doubts, weird looks, or disinterest swayed me. It wasn’t until my initially very high expectations were not met, and the longevity that is required to bring something to life really sunk in, that I started to doubt myself and take some humbling hits to my ego.
When I started Terra Incognita Media I would NOT shut-up about it. I thought everybody wanted to know what it was and what I was planning because who wouldn’t think it was just as freaking cool as me??! Who wouldn’t want a political climbing journal (LOL it’s evolved since the beginning…thank god)?! WHO?! Even people who didn’t climb would want a piece of this exquisite publication! Yes, your grandpa and neighbor! Yes, even your car mechanic!
I would run around, metaphorically and physically, and talk to everyone I could about it. My best friend at the time was pretty sick of it. I had so much energy for this thing that excited me so much because it was a blend of all of my passions in one. It seemed like the impossible was possible: writing, climbing, environmentalism, and art. (This was before I had become aware of my whiteness and internalized white supremacy, which really changed the direction of Terra for the better). But at this early point in the creation of Terra, I merged all of the things I loved that seemed so disparate. I couldn’t wait to bring it to life.