I Got Dumped and I Can’t Believe How Well I’m Taking It

I’m back in my body.

If I was who I was before I would’ve shown up at his house tears streaming down my face.

I’m not a relationship expert or therapist, so take everything I’m about to say with a grain of salt. But what I’ve learned about relationships is that they’re more complicated than I have ever given them credit for. I’m a raging feminist killjoy and reduced many of my exes and relationships to just acting out in toxic masculinity and while, yes, that is absolutely true, I also attached myself to this narrative so much that I identified myself as a victim of the people and circumstances around me.

I’m not speaking about toxic relationships or abuse. I’m offering this to share my experience with being so attached to a DEFINITIVELY FEMINIST way of looking at the world that I lost the feminist lens. I’m a cis, het white woman and these identities and the conditioning I’ve received through white supremacy infiltrate my perspective.

So, as I desperately sought meaning and understanding about myself within these relationships with men I wanted to find THEE answer. What was wrong? WHO was wrong? What was right? WHO was right? It couldn’t have been me that was ever wrong. And I was always the victim because I’ve always been the one to be left.