Boundaries and Boldness

What’s your relationship with boundaries?

Without boundaries, you’ll be heading down a path of self-sabotage. Boundaries are important to establish in all of your relationships, whether family members, partners, friends, or co-workers.

In our white supremacist, capitalist, patriarchal society, as a woman, I have been conditioned to give myself over to others’ expectations, desires, and requests, at the expense of my boundaries and wellbeing.

I have been conditioned to believe that my needs, feelings, and boundaries are not important or valid. This has led to me gaslighting myself! This has led not only to heartbreak but to abuse in some situations.

Despite most parents’ best intentions, most children don’t really learn how to properly assess and assert their personal boundaries. And most don’t really learn how to be mindful and caring of others’ boundaries. The concept of “boundaries” was disrupted for me because of the nature of white supremacist patriarchy — our boundaries are being violated all of the time. I associated boundaries with the material world like a fence, a property line, the perimeter of the playground. Not something I could have for myself.